2. Protégé Program

Finally, I'm going to take some time and articulate my thoughts on this Protégé adventure. Joshua wrote his here, and it's a great account of what lead up to our life changing decision. If you don't know what the program is, click here and it'll give you an idea.


I'll talk more about the planning aspect, kinda.


I'd emailed him and forwarded him information on the protégé program for awhile. I know it sounds pushy. We were newlyweds, and my fear was that he was hesitant to take an opportunity he felt called to do because of some fear about not being able to financially provide. Which, I've actually received a little...heat about this. My thought: a man should provide for his wife: but not all provisions are financial...and people forget about that fact. Anyway...we were (are) in debt. We finally had figured out our finances (merging all that junk and having a new mindset of "our money" was actually a little hard for me), we had a debt pay-off plan, we had a "when to start a family" plan, actually. Things were figured out, and we had talked about all the "big stuff."


Flash forward a few weeks to May 2010: Miracle of the Olive Oil sermon (2 Kings 4). Summary: you never know the extent to which God wants to bless you until you step out in faith. A couple days earlier, Pastor Mark Batterson blogged about the Protégé program again-sort of a last minute reminder, as the applications were due that weekend.


Prior to the sermon, I was going to let this whole thing die till the next year. I mean, we just got married, and we had a plan. And I am a planner...you have no idea.


Obviously that plan got thrown out the window. In fact, everything we planned for got tossed out within 2 hrs of leaving Kingstowne service. We were going to have to redo our finances-it was going to be on a pretty significant salary cut. We decided Josh should quit his job...with no plan. We were putting our jars out to be filled with olive oil-and we had no idea just how many jars God wanted to fill...but we were not going to miss out on an opportunity to be blessed out of fear. Nothing solid in front of him, no idea what this would bring. Most people would call that crazy, scary, foolish, etc.


But it felt sooo right.


I'm not the type of person to throw it up in the air and say--lets do it! I'm not. I'm a planner: A party planner, a life planner, a checklist maker. And this was not like me.


I am on this journey with Joshua, and there have been PLENTY of lessons I've learned as we've entered this whole thing. But my initial one, and one that keeps amazing me, is God's unfailing provision, care, and love. And that my plans are...not necessarily as solid as I always think they are. I've gotta be flexible and listen to God.


Financially, we should be...screwed (sorry, but we should be!). Somehow in the last 4 months, we've been able to pay our bills, not go into more debt, we've maintained our tithe, we've sponsored a kid with Compassion International. It's not always easy, but God has always provided.


Joshua is getting the experience of a lifetime, and I am along with him. But the biggest lesson so far, is that God wants to bless you and shower you with his love and provision-if you'll just listen and be willing to toss the plan out the window.


I'm learning, and I love it. So excited for what the next year has in store. I have no idea what it'll look like, but I know God's hand is on it guiding us. And that's plan enough for me.

3. Baptism in July 2010

Right before you decide to do something big, the enemy will throw a wrench in your plans.

I felt called to be Baptized for well over a year. When I came back to faith in Christ, I wanted to have that public action to proclaim the dedication of my life to the Lord. A public display of me leaving my past behind in the water. God's forgiveness was so difficult to comprehend for me...I struggled with it for such a long time. But having come to terms with it, I felt Baptism would be a great symbolic, public moment of that achievement: knowing God had forgiven me, loves me, and wants to welcome me back-I thought it perfect.

The day before my Baptism, I mentioned it on social networking sites (facebook, etc) that I was excited. And I received multiple criticisms from some unexpected places, questions and accusations filled with anger and confusion, and frusteration. Why would you want to be Baptized? Weren't you already Baptized as a baby? What kind of church are you going to now, anyway? You sure you didn't go off and join a cult? Why would you ever want to do this?

And I almost didn't. I'm not kidding-I was drafting a letter to Heather Zempel telling her I was sick and couldn't go. Maybe next time. I was alone in the apartment-Josh was at work, and I called two friends who have gone through similar experiences. One of them, having been Baptized a second time herself, reminded me that this is just between me and God-that this is an important decision for me. Talked me out of cancelling. And she was right. (so thankful to have Godly women in my life! Sara Yoder and Lori Krieg are amazing!)

We arrived at Sandy Pointe Beach in Maryland...and as we entered the state park-I'm not kidding-a sign was up saying "Beware of Jellyfish." Great. I'm the kinda girl that attracts that sorta thing: the kinda girl that prays for no visible zits on her wedding day and gets one...on her eyelid. Of all the things I thought and prayed about-avoiding jellyfish was not on that list. I felt anxious and unprepared. Bring on the nervousness.

We arrived. We ate. I was interviewed for the Baptism video (thankfully, there were so many people no NCC cut the individual interviews). I met some of the people Josh was going to be working with as a protege. Anxiety that I hadn't felt in a long time was creeping in...anxiety I had long struggled with, that fear of lack of forgiveness. Everything Baptism was to symbolize for me seemed to be faltering. I had these pangs of fear that I wasn't good enough to be Baptized, wasn't ready, was foolish for doing this, that it wasn't important, that I was being judged for doing this, etc. Lots of foolishness.

But, it felt a little too late to turn back now, and people had driven hours in DC traffic to see me get dunked...so I didn't run away. I planted myself in the sand, shaking, but there. Josh was behind me, Chris Arthur and his wife Jen were to my left (Chris was Baptized as well). And people started to be called out to the water.

I was near the beginning, thankfully. After what felt like forever (really...5 minutes total) I was heading out to the water with Pastor Mark and Pastor Chris (the pastor that married Joshua and I). I felt a little nervous, but really excited. REALLY excited. So much so, that as we were walking out to the water...I has the biggest grin on my face :) but then I remembered the jellyfish...but Pastor Chris said they'd get him first (haha) so it was all good.

As they lowered me into the water...I can't even describe it. It was the warmest, most amazing feeling I've ever had. I almost started crying underwater because I was so happy. I felt like the minute my head was completely submerged...that God started cheering and beaming with pride. I felt so good, there really are no words. But again-let me paint this picture: polluted stinking water, I'm in an "IRISH" shirt, jellyfish swarming (or not so much-but the threat of jellyfish swarming was enough!)...and still, here I am-feeling more loved than ever, underwater.

It was beautiful. I couldn't have been happier that I went through it. I felt more joy and love than I can even describe. Huge moment.

4. Patch.com and Saturday Saute

I've already written about this a bit in October.

This miracle for us still continues to pay off. I'm not kidding. We made enough money to more than pay for our trip home for Christmas. Further, we now can do restaurant reviews...so they are paying us to go out on dates and review restaurants. I'm not kidding!!! REVIEW RESTAURANTS! On the protege budget...going out to eat would be less than possible. But it's amazing-we're getting paid to go out to eat at Melting Pot on Thursday Night to try out their Restaurant Week special.

Am I dreaming?!?!

First, I get to cook...then I get to write about cooking...then I get to get paid and get to write about cooking....

Second, I get to eat...eat out....eat out expensive nice places....try new things...get paid for it, and get to write about it?!?!


PINCH ME!

Click on the links below:
Ballston Patch: The online newspaper Joshua and I write for
Saturday Saute: My column that runs every Saturday Morning
Holiday Saute: My extra column that runs holiday-related features (Valentines Day coming up!)

5. Admin for the Alpha Course

I wrote about this before...sorta. Our first night as admins was...hectic. We were running around like crazy, I felt like everything was working against us at every turn. And yet, at the end of the night, we knew God was there and felt his presence in the friendships being formed and in his word being listened to. It was pretty awesome. I never felt more exhausted...but a day or so later, I felt so good about it. It was nice.

The course ended in December, and as we're gearing up for the next semester of Alpha, I'm really excited. We ended with many new friendships formed, more knowledge in faith in Christ...because of our leaders and the course people were opened up to the idea of spending more time with God-and are growing in their faith. I love what this course is and what it does. I also love our leaders and being able to really invest in them. As admins, rather than as small group leaders-our main focus is being that support to our leaders: helping them work through group issues, praying for them, and helping them grow. This last semester has been AMAZING, and Spring 2011 looks like it will be just as good! Our leadership team is growing and we are adding some fantastic people to it. I'm excited :)

6. Catalyst Atlanta, 2010

I got to Catalyst...and I drew a blank. But, a beautiful song played at Catalyst:

There were amazing speakers, amazing ideas, amazing messages, and amazing people that I met at Catalyst. I loved Francis Chan and Perry Noble so much-just all of it-I can't even describe how amazing the whole thing was. If you EVER get the chance to go...make it happen. It is absolutely worth it.

I think one of the bigger things from Catalyst for me was having distinct point to look back from: from where I was freshman year in college to the woman that God is forming me to be. 9 years ago, if you would have told me that I would be a Christian (stop-I probably would have laughed you off right there)...at a Christian Leadership Conference, married to Joshua Stockstill who is working for a CHURCH that I ATTEND, that I'd lead Bible studies and small groups...I would have laughed in your face.

If anyone on facebook who knew me in high school, college, or graduate school reads this...you KNOW what I'm saying.

It's a story for another post, probably long down the road, but October 2007 looked VERY different than October 2010: not just in major life events (moving across the country, getting married, etc)-but in the person I was. I spent college and graduate school in a terrible, God-hating cycle of abuse: physical and mental abuse committed towards me by others...but I also did a lot of this to myself as well. Like I said-another time.

"Out of chaos life is being found in you"

I'm thankful for my past in a lot of ways: It taught me about forgiveness, humility, and empathy. It showed me the power of Christ in someone's life and what healing and forgiveness looks like. I'm a completely different person with a completely different purpose. I know that God saved me from all of it for a reason, and it is my absolute duty to serve him from the past I come from and shower everyone I meet with love and respect, no matter what they've done or who they've been.

Everyone's walk is different: use what you've learned to speak to those who need it.

God makes BEAUTIFUL things out of us. It may not be a perfect story, you may not come out of it without a couple bumps and bruises, and it may not always be pretty-but with God, we'll get there.

7. Snowmageddon

(Do you kinda see a side mirror sticking out of a pile of snow? yeah...my car is under there. I parked in the worst spot...ever.)

I got paid to spend over a week snowed in with my husband. It's like every little childhood dream of days off and crazy snow came true in one week!

It was amazing. The DC area saw 52 or so inches of snow in a 1 week period of time-completely paralyzing the city.

(Joshua's car is in the middle)

Joshua and I loved it-I worked from home for parts of the day, drinking coffee and hanging out in pjs. We got to have fun, walk down the middle of Columbia Pike in the pouring snow (cause no cars could go anywhere)...it really was like a scene from The Day After Tomorrow. LOVED IT!

Loved having an extra week, just a couple months into our marriage, to hang out-have fun-build memories. I've never seen that much snow in my life: it was amazing! :)

8. Breast Cancer

Three women that I love and admire were diagnosed with breast cancer in the same two month period of time.

I love them, adore them, and am so proud of them.

They've gone through treatment with grace and love, praising God through their times of trouble. They are an inspiration: such strong women in their demeanor and their faith.

They are nearing the end of treatment and are doing well. I'm so thankful for them and the example they've given me and the faith they've shown. I couldn't ask for better women in my life.

9. Chicago with my Brothers (and Alpha Conference)

My brothers and I decided to help my father reach a lifelong dream of going to Wrigley Field for a baseball game. We decided to go in June. He doesn't travel much, but luckily he lives in St. Louis so it worked out pretty well. Quick, easy train ride.

The 3 days we were in Chicago with him was actually the longest period of uninterrupted time we have ever spent with him since I was 5ish (and for my brothers...since they were 2 and 1) years old. I was 27 at the time of the trip.

It was a great time! I miss my family greatly being out here-and it was a lot of fun to hang out with all of them! And we got to see the Cubs lose-always a good thing! :)

The day before we left for Chicago was Josh's last day at his full-time job. We had found out he was going to be a 2010/2011 protege just before we left: it was a hectic time in our lives! It was nice to get away for a bit.

Interestingly enough, a few months before the trip, Juliet Main who coordinates all the Alpha Courses at National Community Church (NCC) asked if we'd come with her and other leaders to the Alpha Conference, ironically in Chicago starting the day we were going to leave. It was perfect, God-ordained timing. So we stayed for it (which is actually why we chose June for Josh to quit his job-he wasn't able to take a full week in June. We figured God planned on us to be there, so we followed-even though it seemed CRAZY. It worked out well. More on that crazy month later).

The Alpha Conference was amazing. So inspirational and moving: Great to see God bringing so many home to Him. Alpha is the course that lead me back to the Lord, and I love it so much. Love being involved in Alpha and working with amazing leaders to help bring people to Christ. Being part of Alpha is my favorite thing that I've ever done for the Church-and has consistently been a highlight of my year...for the last 3. :)

It was also challenging: what if most NCC Alpha participants came from outside of the Church? What if 50% of the people who participated were non-believers? What if we reached those communities and groups of people who desperately need Christ, and shower them with love, understanding, non-judgmental attitudes, and compassion? That's what's on my heart, and where I'd love to see Alpha go.

They have a Alpha Course running in prisons across the country. hm....

:)

10 of 2010: New Position at NADCP

I took on a new position as of January 1, 2010 as a Research Coordinator (so I've been in it for 1 year) . I get to conduct a nationwide data collection effort for BJA/ONDCP and report my numbers to my office-which then reports them to those federal entities. I also am working on the development of our Resource Center-a huge collection of data, journal articles, papers, etc to assist drug court practitioners do their job.

I've been at NADCP for 3 years now: 2 as a Training Coordinator and 1 as a Research Coordinator. This promotion into Research Coordinator in 2010 was a huge deal: It meant more money and a change that I desperately needed.

For the most part-it's been successful. I love the Resource Center aspect, and I enjoy attempting to effectively collect data-and I'm learning a lot along the way. And the little extra cushion is nice in the paycheck, too. But this position has helped me realize just how much I love data and writing and measurable outcomes. I get really excited when I'm about to compute some numbers-oddly excited. But-that comes with a price: it stresses me out to an unhealthy level. I'm very picky and detailed, so much so that having something published or put in writing makes me a little nauseous. I've never had a major error or problem-but I get myself so worked up over this stuff that I almost make myself sick. It's not ok.

Lesson: In 2010, I will pray for confidence: Confidence in my God given abilities, my abilities He gave me to succeed in my endeavors. And the confidence to take risks that could lead to mistakes.

My 10 of 2010

Reflection and direction are so important to me. I need to look back at what I've done to see what I need to change to get to where I'm going. Lately, the problem is that I have no idea what my goals are or where I need to be going. This last year especially has thrown me for a loop-a great one, but one that I did not anticipate nor plan for. Which has been awesome. Humbling. Scary. Confusing. Headache-causing. Beautiful. Maturing. I could clearly go on and on.

My 10 "game changer" moments of 2010:

10. New Position at NADCP

9. Chicago with my Brothers

8. Breast Cancer

7. Snowmageddon

6. Catalyst 2010 in Atlanta

5. Being an Admin for Alpha

4. Patch.com and the Saturday Saute

3. Baptism

2. Protégé Program

1. Reading the Bible in a Year

I'm trying to write on this blog more, so I'm going to take the next couple weeks to expand on this list and fill in some gaps. It might not be the most interesting read for all of you, but it'll be good for me (and anyone who has questions as to how we got to certain places-it'll fill in those gaps too!). My top 3 are on a whole different level than the rest of those 10. Those 3 things: getting Baptized, deciding to enter into the Protégé Program at National Community Church, and reading through the Bible with my Church on a 1 year plan, have greatly shaped my year-my life-for the better. The changes that have happened from those 3 events are monumental and have more influence on my future than almost anything I've done in the past (minus, you know-getting married and such) :)

I'm excited for 2011-the anticipation is torture for me! I'm a planner, I like to see exactly how to get to the end result. And I gotta be honest-for the first time of my life, I've got no clue. It's great to be forced to rely on God to take control and push me into the unknown. I think it'll be fun to look back on this last year and see what has happened to get me to where I am. Maybe I'll get some sort of idea as to where we're headed. (hopefully!!??) :)